Veggie Tales: Into the Unknown

I have a fond memory from my childhood. Well, I'm not sure if fond is the best way to describe it, but... you'll see.

Sitting down to dinner with the family in the evening was a rare occurrence, but it was known to happen sometimes. At one of these meals we served the basic chicken, rice, and a side dish of vegetables. I ate all my chicken and rice, but sat at the table and refused to eat my peas. At one point, my mom left the table (everyone else had long since finished their meal and went their way). In her absence, I proceeded to take the salt shaker and pour it over the peas, delightedly announcing, "It's raining! It's raining!"

When mom came back to the table, she told me I still had to eat them. Foiled! I was certain that because the peas were now ruined, I wouldn't have to eat them! Alas, it was not the case.

So I sat at the table, staring at my plate... for hours. Finally, as the crickets chirped persistently from the backyard, my mom had had enough. I was allowed to leave the table under two conditions: 1) I would not have dessert, and 2) I would not eat anything until breakfast. That was all fine and dandy with me--it was probably past my bedtime at this point, anyway.

Now, before you get too harsh on my mom, let me tell you this.

I never ate fruit or vegetables until this summer.

Even through most of my college career, I refused to even try new things.

Sometimes, I could force myself to eat an apple when there was nothing else available (aka, I'm out in the wilderness running out of energy and my neighbor has a spare). On an even rarer occasion, I would have a banana (aka, low blood sugar makes me pass out and someone force-feeds it to me). Never willingly, and never cheerfully.

Vegetables were an even less common occurrence. I would eat corn one kernel at a time and gag on each and every piece. The stories I could tell here... but I'll spare you. This post is already long enough. :-)

Then this summer, something shocking happened.

I spent the summer in Zimbabwe, the land of nothing. Literally, there is no food on the shelves in the grocery stores. It has become a trading economy--one lady I stayed with received her rent in sugar.

So I would eat my carbs and starches (I'd cut back considerably on plain sweets since entering college) and small portions of meat. I wouldn't even serve myself vegetables, because I knew I wouldn't eat them and that would be rude. Yet I was still perceived as offensive.

My mom raised me to be polite. It's all about etiquette. You must act like a lady. We sing praises to Miss Manners. Okay, maybe not bad, but you get the idea. I was doing everything I knew to go above and beyond expectations. And then one day my boss apologizes to me--he was offended that I didn't eat vegetables.

But I was eating everything on my plate! I wasn't getting huge portions and throwing away food! I wasn't even eating a lot of meat (which is extremely expensive, if it's even available)! How could he be OFFENDED?! I was going out of my way to be so sensitive to the culture!

I have never knowingly offended anyone in my life. I'm sure there have been times when someone was offended by my words or actions, but I never heard about it. This is the first time I've been aware of being offensive. And it's not a one time thing. It's not like I said something and I can just make a point to not say it again. It's the way I live. My life is offensive.

At first, I respected this person for even admitting it, and then having the guts to apologize to me. And I still respect him. But then I started to get angry that he was even offended in the first place! "How dare he!" my pride said. That lasted about 2 minutes, and then I lost it.

I haven't cried that hard in a long time. I don't like vegetables. It's a texture thing. Tough on the outside, slimy on the inside... who enjoys that, really? I mean, really? I can't do it.

But I'm in their country, not America, "Land of Plenty." It's not going to kill me to eat vegetables. I can do it, even if I don't want to. And I should. If I know that my not eating vegetables is going to offend my friends, then I cannot justify not eating vegetables. It's not beneficial.

So I did. I ate them. I forced myself.

I also still ate my carbs and the occassional meat. But I added in vegetables. I ate salad. Quite a bit of it. Not too shabby, come to find out!

And now, I'm hooked. I love them. I am in love with squash. I don't think you quite got that, so I'm going to type it again. I am in love with squash. Yellow squash, green squash, butternut squash, I love it all. I'm still not a fan of raw tomatoes (texture), but they are divine cooked. Bell peppers are also especially pleasing. Carrots don't really have a taste, so as long as they're not too crunchy, bring it on!

I still don't like corn. It's like celery--in and out, no purpose.

I ate so much fruit in Botswana that when we got back to Zim (where there is no food, much less fresh fruit), I craved it. The group we were with loaded us up on sweets and I felt sick. I used to eat nothing but sweets, and now all I wanted was a banana, nasty after-taste and all!

So recently I was enjoying some quality fellowship with some new friends one night over dinner when the topic of my former vegetable hatred comes up. There's a spinach salad on the table, and my new friend asks me, "Do you like spinach?"

"I don't know!" I reply, excited. Do I?!

So I pick up a leaf and shove it in my mouth.

She likes it, Mikey! She really likes it!

And that's when I realized--there's all SORTS of stuff out there for me to try now! Sure, asparagus smells like bum, but what does it taste like? Everyone raves about my aunt's broccoli and cheese casserole (which I stayed away from because it contained the dreaded green ingredient), and now I'm so thankful for Thanksgiving because I get to try it! Avocado is amazing! I would eat those peas now! And does anyone out there know how to cook eggplant? It's like a whole new world has been opened up to me!

I know most people went through this in junior high, so thank you for reading my novella about vegetables. This has been a long time coming. When I told my mom, she cried. :-) Bless that woman; she's so cute.

Food for thought (hehe): The other day I was cutting up God's gift to mankind (squash) and I was struck by how creative God is. Think about all the things you eat. Chicken, eggs, wheat, squash, beans, carrots, strawberries, bananas, pineapple, watermelon, asparagus, coconuts, avocado, animals, plants, small, large, green, yellow, orange, red, purple, smooth, bumpy, hairy, soft, hard, long and skinny, spherical, ... banana...shaped.... OUR GOD IS SO CREATIVE! There is no way I could've come up with all those different combinations. He's so cool... :-)

I can't believe I just wrote that much on vegetables.